Chipmunk Part I

Step 1: Make an incision from the anus to the bottom lip with a sharp blade. Step 2: Do not puncture the Epithelial tissue that holds the organs in place. Step 3: Remove the pelt and cover it with salt to pull out the moisture.

Goose Part II

Step 7: Remove meat and fat Step 8: Continue boiling. Step 9: Remove more meat and fat. Step 10: Continue boiling. Step 11: Remove more meat and fat. Step 12: Add Borax to water and continue boiling. The Borax will help leach the fat off the bones. Step 13: Soak in Hydrogen Peroxide for a few days to bleach the bones white.

Goose Part I

Step 1: Find a dead goose Step 2: De-feather goose on the living room floor in front of the television so you can watch Law and Order: SVU. Step 3: Boil the goose in a pan too small, then make a late night run to Wal-mart to get a bigger one. Step 4: Be thankful you have a spouse that understands your lunacy.
Step 5: Open all of the windows and put on your winter jacket because being cold is better than that smell... that horrible... horrible smell... Step 6: Store the pot and the goose outside till you buy borax and a hot plate. Next time I'm boiling outside.

Just like mom

A sewing machine, the evening news and a glass of ice water. I'm becoming more like my mom everyday.

Dinosaur Egg

perhaps it was just a dinosaur turd.

i had a feeling this might be a dinosaur egg. i cracked it open to be sure.

Little red toy

Traded my motorcycle for something with heat.

wart

In 2007, the local gym provided me with free towels, soap and plantar warts. Following an at home freezing wart treatment, then shots from the doctor; I was left with no other options but surgery. Luckily, I discovered an online solution of apple cider vinegar and duct tape (like this one: Link. In 1 week, I was wart free and it cost about $5. I did experience a little bit of pain the first two nights as it was dying, other than that, it was simple and didn't leave any scarring. 

Original state. 3 warts.

After 2 days of treatment.

After 7 days of treatment.

The culprit.